I wannas sexs uuuuu
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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