hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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