But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize