Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
