I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I have already put on my inside pants.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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