Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
