my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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