Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
