Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize