I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Randomize
