I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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