We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
