Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
