it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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