Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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