I could have mohawked her pubes.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize