it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
