i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
