i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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