I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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