I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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