Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
