Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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