he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
