dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize