Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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