Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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