dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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