It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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