? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
