I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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