then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
