I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
