My first STD was from a foam party
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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