How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
