Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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