my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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