i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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