Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
