Don't make out with my wife yet
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You need Xanax blowdarts
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
