real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
