youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
