All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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