lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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