Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize