we made out on top of his cat.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
