well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
