Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
