You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
