I just made out with a guy for $7.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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