i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I have post one night stand depression
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