"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
