and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
