Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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