I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I need to sanitize my soul.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
