Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
