Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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