Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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