Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
