let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
