Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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