u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize