why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
