You really coming over, don't trick.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
