Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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