Your tits are I can't wait for
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
