for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
