Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
