my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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