i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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