i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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