he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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