and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
