I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
