That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
